I came across the blog Rio in a Week a few months back.
It has since become my go-to resource for all things Brazil. Although there are other quality blogs about the country (Brazilian Gringo perhaps being the most famous), what sets "Rio in a Week" apart is Shad's willingness to tell it like it is. He doesn't sugarcoat Brazil - it's clear that his love for the place hasn't clouded his perception of reality. Also, he's not bounded by political correctness. He has no problem discussing race, sex and women. A lot of bloggers steer clear of these things to appeal to a wider audience.
My respect goes out to him for not pandering.
For these reasons I consider it to be the best blog for men unfamiliar with Brazil.
That being said, when I heard that he released a book called Become The Man Brazilian Women Want: The Official Guide to Dating in Brazil I was skeptical. I'm generally not impressed with books that involve game or meeting women - not because I don't think the information is valuable, but simply because I often find them to be lazy rehashes of material written by previous authors.
So although I'm a fan of the blog, I was more than ready to take my red pen to the book if needed.
The book Become The Man Brazilian Women Want: The Official Guide to Dating in Brazil is structured in the following manner:
Part 1 – Mindset
- How To Get Over Fear Of Rejection
- How To Let Go Of Negative Energy (And Women)
Part 2 – Brazilian Women
- Are Brazilian Women Overrated?
- Where To Find Your Type
- Interracial Dating In Brazil
- Gringo Chasers
Part 3 – Game
- The 10 Commandments Of Attracting Brazilian Women
- Where To Meet Brazilian Women
- How To Flirt With Brazilian Women
- How To Crush Online Dating In Brazil
- The 100% Sure-Fire Way To Hook Up In One Week
- How To Pick The Right Brazilian Girlfriend
I've chosen to break my review up into the following five sections:
1) Initial Thoughts
2)Part 1: Mindset
3) Part 2: Brazilian Women
4) Part 3: Game
5) Closing Thoughts
Instead of providing commentary for each subcategory, I'll deal only with the main sections. This will serve to provide you with a general overview of the book without giving too much away.
Book Review: Become The Man Brazilian Women Want: The Official Guide to Dating in Brazil by Rio in a Week
Right away, I was impressed by the book's layout: A nice simple cover page, a clearly laid out table of contents and a concise introduction (I hate prefaces that go on for years). After flipping through a few pages I was also pleased to see that the formatting was on point. This can be an issue for many self-published books. Also worth noting that I'm reading on an old iPad, which sometimes seems to cause problems. In short, I was glad to see that readability was not going to be an issue.
I was a bit surprised to see the length of the book - 96 pages. I was expecting/hoping it to be slightly longer. I was curious to see if Shad would be able to adequately cover dating in Brazil in just 20,000 words. Fortunately, this didn't turn out to be a huge issue.
I'll explain why in my closing thoughts.
Part 1: Mindset
Shad begins the book by addressing the importance of mindset when it comes to meeting women. He discusses why it's necessary to rid yourself of negative energy and the fear of rejection if you're going to have any success with girls in Brazil. His advice is solid, and aligns with some of the better mindset books that I've read.
Here are my main take aways from the section:
"You are going to get rejected by women in Brazil." - This is an important point. There are still men out there that think that Brazil is some kind of sex paradise. The author swiftly dispels this. Like I've said before: If you have trouble getting laid in your own country, you'll have trouble abroad. You have to own that responsibility. Shad's advice is to get rejected early and often in Brazil both to improve your game, and to realize that it's not a big deal.
"Practice positive self talk." - The author mentions the importance of being aware when you are talking yourself out of attracting women. Most of us are guilty of making excuses for not talking to girls: she's too busy, she's with her friends, I'm not drunk enough, etc. He rightfully advises to start slow ("you don't have to become an approaching machine in one week"). Rather, he suggests taking a week to talk to a few strangers before diving in the deep end with women. This will get you more comfortable with striking up a conversation with people you don't know. As someone who suffers from approach anxiety, I can say that this technique has helped me a lot. Once you get used to talking to strangers, you realize that starting a dialogue with someone doesn't have to be met with trepidation. +1 for the tip.
"Stop talking to bitter men." - In my opinion this is the most valuable piece of advice in the section. It needs to be said more often. We often don't realize how much the company we keep influences our thoughts, attitudes and actions. Other men that are bitter will validate your own negative feelings toward women, or worse, cause you to develop negative feelings toward them. This will only harm your cause. The author sums it up beautifully in this quote: "If you meet an older man and he isn't in the position you want to be in one day, don't take his advice."
It was a good call starting the book with a brief section on mindset. The author clearly recognizes that if the reader doesn't have the right attitude, the rest of the book isn't going to be of much use to him. The actionable advice contained in this section serves as an effective prelude to Part 2: Brazilian Women.
PART 2: Brazilian Women
In this section, the author discusses Brazilian women and what to expect from them. He offers great insight into women from different regions of the country, interracial dating and how to avoid "gringo chasers." What makes this section valuable is the fact that you aren't likely to come across this sort of thing in other books about Brazil. When race is discussed in other resources about the country it usually isn't in the context of dating and relationships.
Here are some quotes that stood out for me:
"The Gringo chaser should be avoided at all times unless you are looking for a quick one night stand." - A lot of guys will fall into this trap, especially those that don't speak Portuguese. Shad advises to avoid these women if you want to get the most out of your experience. He offers tips on how to do this in his next section.
“You have to know who you are as a man before you will ever find women who are receptive to you.” Make sure you have knowledge of self before you seriously start dating.” - Upon landing in Brazil, many guys, wrapped up in the atmosphere of a new and exciting place, will commit to the first Brazilian woman who shows interest in them (hint: this will probably be a "gringo chaser"). The author warns against this, suggesting that you keep your options open and have fun until you are certain of what you really want.
"Region matters." - Shad provides incredibly useful breakdowns of the different regions of Brazil, and what you can expect as a White, Black, or Asian man in terms of dating prospects. I won't get into all the details (you'll have to buy the book for that), but this is an important factor to consider when travelling to Brazil and the author has great insights in this regard.
PART 3: game
In the "Game" section of the book, the author discusses various tactics and strategies for attracting Brazilian women. He makes suggestions about where to meet Brazilian girls, provides some helpful Portuguese phrases, discusses how to pick the right Brazilian girlfriend and lays down some practical tips for online dating.
Here are some of the highlights of the section:
"The 10 commandments of attracting Brazilian women." - I was remarkably impressed by the way Shad was able to distill meeting Brazilian women into ten simple rules. Although all of the things in his commandments have been discussed in other game/travel books, I've never seen them explained so concisely and clearly. This was definitely the highlight of the section for me. If you apply anything from Become The Man Brazilian Women Want: The Official Guide to Dating in Brazil let it be this.
"Online dating" - Another strong point of this section is Shad's tips on online dating, particularly Tinder. I didn't used to think there was much to learn in terms of online dating, but there is definitely an art to it. Having experimented with Tinder for about a year and a half now, I can say with confidence that the information he provides WILL work.
"How to pick the right Brazilian girlfriend." - I absolutely loved this section because of the hard truths that the author isn't afraid to deliver. Here are some gems:
“My Brazilian girlfriend wants to move to America with me, should I dump her? – You probably should. (love this).
“If you get used, it’s probably because you asked for it.” (I also touched on this in a recent article).
"She should not want to move to America." (harsh, but true).
"She should not speak English." (again, harsh but good advice).
"She should not be from the internet." (no exceptions).
bonus: how to flirt in portuguese
Shad also includes a bonus book entitled "How to Flirt in Portuguese" with the purchase of Become The Man Brazilian Women Want. The book contains plenty of useful phrases in Portuguese, including slang and curse words that will come in handy, but probably won't be on the language learning bookshelves of Barnes and Noble. Also includes sample conversations and interviews with Brazilian women. A lot of good information for a bonus book.
Become The Man Brazilian Women Want: The Official Guide to Dating in Brazil is a superb resource for first-time travellers to Brazil. You simply cannot find this kind of information elsewhere - it only comes from firsthand experience. After reading the book, you're left with the sense that the author truly practices what he preaches and that it works.
My initial doubts about the length of the book were soon put to rest. There is no filler here, just facts. The author does an excellent job of refining what he's learned and giving the audience succinct and actionable advice for meeting women in Brazil. This makes it easy to refer to while sipping a caipirinha at the bar or chilling at the beach.
I do, however, have one small critique: I would have like to have seen more personal stories weaved into the text. I thought it was great when the author discussed his own personal experiences interacting with women in Brazil (the story at the beginning of the chapter "How To Flirt With Brazilian Women" comes to mind). I would have liked to have seen a few more personal anecdotes like this. Not only would it have helped bring some of the advice on how to meet Brazilian women to life, but it also would have been a great way to connect on a deeper level with the reader.
That being said, I still highly recommend picking up a copy - it's well worth the price.
P.S - Only 1000 copies are available for purchase, so act fast!
My Latin Life Rating: 4.5/5
To get both "Become The Man Brazilian Women Want: The Official Guide to Dating in Brazil" and "How to Flirt in Portuguese" for just $10, click here.
Also, be sure to check out Shad's blog on Brazil at Rio in a Week.
Until next time,