Isla Margarita City Guide
OVERVIEW: Located off the northeast coast of Venezuela. A popular vacation destination for both South Americans and Europeans. Shown here in the popular latin music video "Una Vaina Loca."
WEATHER: Dry and sunny (24-37 °C).
SAFETY: Reports of piracy off the coast, so be careful if you're arriving on a yacht (also, fuck you if you're arriving on a yacht). Since 2010, petty crime and robberies have increased, so keep your eyes open and try not to get too drunk.
MUST DO: Consume alcohol and go to the beach. Or, consume alcohol on the beach.
RENT AN APARTMENT IN MARGARITA ISLAND: Best bet for renting an apartment on Margarita Island is to go in with some roommates if you're planning an extended stay. A 2 bedroom 2 bath rental apartment can be found for about $500.
HOSTEL DORM BED/NIGHT: n/a
NIGHTLIFE IN MARGARITA ISLAND: 7/10
Most (if not all) of the nightlife in Margarita Island is located in the cities of Pampatar and Porlamar. Very typical of resort towns: streets lined with drunk people and unnecessarily-loud clubs. Avenida Bolviar hosts many bars and clubs that change names and ownership like you take a piss. Spontaneous day-drunk beach parties are certainly not unheard of, either. Overall nightlife on Margarita island gets a thumbs up.
I recommend: Hitting Avenida Bolivar and seeing what's popular. Everyone is drunk and on vacation, so no particular bar is going to give you a competitive advantage for picking up over-tanned touristas on Margarita island.
BOTTLE OF BEER: n/a
CHANCE OF HOOKING-UP IN MARGARITA ISLAND: 6.5/10
As with any tourist destination, ass is five cents a gallon here. However, getting a piece of it isn't as easy as you'd hope. Most people travel to Margarita Island in a large group - often a large mixed group - so you'd better be a charming son of a bitch with a high social IQ if you don't want to get cockblocked to death. However, you're still a novelty as far as tourists go, so yes, that will help you get laid in Margarita Island. By far, your best bet to hook up in Margarita Island is to daygame your hotel or hostel or the beach. This will be easier if you are muscular, rich, and/or fluent in Spanish or Portuguese.
***ONLINE DATING: Latin American Cupid allows you to talk with girls and set up dates before you arrive in the country. For this reason, I recommend it.
ARE GIRLS HOT IN MARGARITA ISLAND?: 7.5/10.
Probably inflated a bit due to scantness of clothing, but who cares? Lots of Latinas in little clothing will never rank below a 7 in my mind. Hooking up Margarita island with a fine girl shouldn't be too tough.
If you want to make the most of your time in Venezuela, you will need to speak some Spanish. Rocket Spanish is the best resource for learning Spanish quickly and easily.
GROCERIES: Milk (1L)= n/a Loaf of Bread= n/a Eggs= n/a Water (1.5L)= n/a Cigarettes= n/a
JOB OPPORTUNITIES: Nothing.
TAXI: Almost free with current exchange rate (2017).
NOTES: Margarita Island is not really worth it unless you're already in Venezuela; don't go out of your way. A nice place, but many other vacation destinations offer the same experience for better value. Also, Venezuela has descended into absolute chaos under the rule of Maduro, so you're better off staying away from the entire country right now.
OVERALL RATING: 6.5/10
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