Mexico City Guide

 

 

OVERVIEW: More commonly known in Mexico as "D.F" (Distrito Federal), Mexico City is the capital of Mexico and one of the world's largest cities. The city is simply too vast to comprehend if you grew up in a second-tier city or lower. The only way to make any sense of it is to think of it in terms of districts and only fuck with one or two of them if your stay is short. For this reason, I will deal only with a few neighbourhoods.

 

POPULATION: 9,000,000 (proper). 21,000,000 (greater).

 

WEATHER: Subtropical highland (12-18 °C). Never gets oppressively hot. Rains from March to September.

 

SAFETY: You can't generalize in Mexico City. Some areas in Condesa, Roma, Coyoacan and Polanco are entirely safe at all hours. But walk into Tepito or Guerrero alone at 2 am with an expensive watch and a designer shirt and you might not walk out.

 

MUST DO: Anything. Everything. This place literally has whatever you could dream of. Things that make it both the most amazing and terrible place on earth. The key is to pipeline like a son of a bitch and connect with people who grew up in the city (see my post on hacking your Tinder location so you can do this all from the comfort of your home country). They won't be able to show you all of D.F, but they'll show you their D.F. If you do that, when you arrive the city will seem 100x more digestible after a week.

 

RENT AN APARTMENT IN MEXICO CITY: Entirely depends on your barrio. All types of options for all types of prices all over the city. Obviously, you'll want to be in a decent area with an assortment of bars and clubs, so to keep it simple, I'd recommend an apartment in Condesa or Roma through Airbnb. For a longterm stay, you may be able to swing something basic for around $500/month.

 

HOSTEL DORM BED/NIGHT Anywhere from $8 to as much as you want to spend. You can get something good in Roma for $12-15, or in Centro for $10-12.

 

NIGHTLIFE IN MEXICO CITY: 10/10

Condesa, Polanco and Roma alone will satisfy your every desire for nightlife.

I recommend: Pata NegraIt's an embarrassingly obvious choice for anyone familiar with Mexico City, but it's tough to go wrong with this place. If you're a well-dressed foreigner with beginner/intermediate Spanish, you will make Cortes look like pussy cat the way you'll be taking down Mexicans. The girls here in the D.F are pretty, friendly and, most importantly, liberal. I have nothing negative to say about this bar except for the fact that it is now overrun with gringos. Word is out. Rhodesia in Roma is offensively easy as well. However, tourists also flock here. Try Mono if you want to distance yourself from the typical backpacking crowd, but expect to pay about $8 USD for cover.

*If you want to meet girls in Mexico the easy way, I highly recommend signing up for Mexican Cupid.

 

BOTTLE OF BEER: $2.00

 

CHANCE OF HOOKING-UP IN MEXICO CITY: 7.75/10 

The girls of Mexico City are well up for it. Logistics again are important, so stay in Condesa, Roma, Zona Rosa, or Polanco. Other things that are somewhat important: beginner/intermediate Spanish, be very well-dressed (not as important in Pata Negra, but damn important in Polanco), and be self-assured. Follow these rules and D.F will be D.T.F; you'll find that you can easily hook-up in Mexico City.

***ONLINE DATING: If you want to meet girls in Mexico the easy way, I highly recommend signing up for Mexican Cupid. You can chat with local girls and set up dates before you arrive in the country, which is a major advantage.

 

ARE GIRLS HOT IN MEXICO CITY?: 7.5/10.

You'll see all types of woman in Mexico City, but in Condesa, Polanco and Roma, there is a high concentration of what you want to see. You will be pleasantly surprised at how hot the girls are in Mexico City.

 

LEARNING SPANISH

If you want to make the most of your time in Mexico, you will need to speak some Spanish. Rocket Spanish is the best resource for learning Spanish quickly and easily.

 

GROCERIES: Milk (1L)= $1.10   Tortillas (1kg)= $1.00   Eggs= $1.90   Water (1.5L)= $1.00   Cigarettes= $3.50

 

JOB OPPORTUNITIES: I have no idea. If you can telecommute, spending some time here would be a blast. I wouldn't suggest teaching English in Mexico City unless you work for yourself and your specialty is business English. The pay isn't great Cost of living might be higher than you expect if you settle in an affluent area. 

 

TAXI: Uber is by far the best and safest option here. If you must use taxis, try to use the pink ones off the street, or the sitio taxi sites (pretty expensive, though). If you're a tourist, fares largely depend on what they think they can get out of you, but it shouldn't be more than $4 or $5 USD for most places. I managed to get about a 5 km ride for under $2 once so it's hard to say. If they refuse to use the meter, get out of the cab.

 

NOTES: Mexico City is a fascinating place. The girls in Mexico City are hot, and hooking up them is easy. But as a first time visitor, you must only focus on one district (max two) or else you will think it's nothing more than a bafflingly chaotic clusterfuck. Find a decent apartment, visit the bars in your area to see what fits your personality best. See a few cultural sites in Centro, ride the metro at least once, and don't even think about leaving until you've pleasured a Chilanga so hard she hears colours.

 

 

OVERALL RATING: 9/10

Recommended Resources: Mexican Cupid & Rocket Spanish

Want More Information About Latin America? Check Out My City Guides

*More city guides from Mexico here!