Vance again. This time, to talk a bit about dating in Mexico. Or, more specifically, to tell you how to attract a Mexican woman!
After having spent a cumulative total of about three years here, I like to think I've learned a thing or two about girls south of the border. And while, for the most part, dating girls in Mexico is no different than dating girls anywhere else in the world, there are a few things that you can do to increase your chances of finding a Mexican girlfriend (or a quick fling...if that's your style).
It took me awhile to learn the game down here, so I hope the following 10 tips will save you some time.
Let's get into it.
1. Dress well.
I put this first for a reason. Dressing well here is likely to provide you with the biggest return on investment (perhaps even more than learning Spanish!). There is no easier way to set yourself apart from other foreigners than dressing stylishly. Instead of the typical shorts and sandals or running shoes that most travellers wear, invest in a blazer, a few v-neck tee shirts and a good pair of boots or dress shoes. You won't regret it. Local guys don't dress particularly well here either, so you can really capitalize in this area. If you want to have any luck with dating in Mexico, you'll have to make an effort to look good.
I wrote a post on how to dress in Latin America. It has all the info you'll need on how to catch the attention of Latinas.
Check it out before packing your suitcase!
2. Choose your cities wisely
In Mexico, there are vast cultural differences between cities. You have to tailor your approach accordingly. For instance, if you're looking to hit on local women in Oaxaca, a more conservative, largely indigenous state in Mexico, your strategy is going to look a whole lot different than if you're hitting on women in the more progressive, liberal capital of Mexico City.
I'll keep things simple: if dating in Mexico is your goal, you're going to want to stick to bigger cities. In smaller towns, many of the girls will be married by the time they're in their mid-twenties and/or there will be some stigma against hooking-up with random foreigners.
I wrote an article on the best cities for meeting mexican women. Check that out. In short, here are some good choices:
3. Don't be too serious
If you're more of a dark and brooding kind of dude, you'll want to shelf that here in Mexico. While mysterious-guy game can go over well in Europe and the United States, it's not understood too readily down here.
Now, I'm not saying change your personality (you can't, anyway), but if you're able to, air on the lighter side of things in this country. In order to impress a Mexican woman, you'll need to show that you're capable of having fun! These are some of the most positive girls I've met anywhere, so I'd suggest keeping things lighthearted at first. This shouldn't bee too much of a problem - their energy is infectious!
Mexican girls will like you if you show you have a sense of humour and enjoy a good laugh. Dating in Mexico is fun (and, at times, full of drama). You won't get too far if you can't have a laugh or two.
4. Connect with girls before you go
Practice makes perfect! If you want to get an idea of what Mexican girls are like before you go, and have more opportunities dating in Mexico the best way to do that is to talk to as many as you can.
I suggest Mexican Cupid for this
Sign up for a month before your trip and you can start connecting with Mexican girls immediately...all from the comfort of home. This will give you an idea of what they like, value etc. Also, it will give you a good excuse to practice your seduction Spanish!
5. Avoid controversial topics (at first)
We all know Mexico is a controversial country. Corrupt politicians, drug violence, illegal immigrants etc. When you first meet a girl down here, it is best to avoid contentious talking points. At least until you get to know them better. This includes Donald Trump, the Wall, immigration, politics and drugs.
If it does come up, express your opinion if you have one, but try to keep it somewhat muted. A good way to do this is to express your opinion honestly, but follow it up with pointing out the fact that you aren't Mexican, and that you'd prefer to hear some of the local opinions. They'll be more than happy to share, and impressed that you are interested (even if you aren't, really). Also, pro-tip: politically, most young, educated gals will be against the PRI party. So you'll be pretty safe insulting the current government (at the time of writing).
As you get to know her better, feel free to express your opinions on her country more forwardly, but in the early stages it is best to keep things light.
6. Don't be cheap
Being cheap does not go over well in Mexico. If you're not willing to spend at least $30 a night in the bars and clubs, it's best to stay home. Mexican girls like to drink (particularly in the north) and if you're not ready to spend a bit of money to keep up, they will think you're no fun. This is kind of shitty, but it's the way it is.
If you don't drink, that's fine. It isn't going to work against you too much. However, I would suggest that when you go to the bar to order a water or juice, maybe buy a round for the girl(s) you're with.
Now, this doesn't mean that you always have to be buying girls drinks and meals - one great thing about dating Mexican girls is that they'll pay their share more than other Latinas (ahem Colombians...). Dating in Mexico doesn't have to be expensive. But don't be unreasonably cheap. Status is quite important here and it's just not a good look. If you're low on money in Mexico (I've been there), opt for coffee shop dates instead of restaurants. Or, if you prefer bars to set the mood, pick one close to your house. Have a drink or two there and then suggest drinks at your apartment. You can buy a bottle of tequila from a supermarket for about the same price as a cocktail at a fancy bar, so if drinking is your thing, there are cheap ways to do it!
7. Leave the aggressive game at home
This is a controversial opinion. Many will say that the key to success with Latinas is to be aggressive.
At least, in the beginning stages.
I've found that with dating Mexican women, it is best to start slow. Don't sexualize the conversation when you first meet them in a bar or club. Don't make your move in the first 30 minutes unless it's extremely clear she's really into you. You will have to make it clear to her that you like her at some point (or else she'll wonder if you're weird or gay) but if you come too fast out the gate, you'll scare her off. Many of these gals are used to being catcalled in the streets and even groped on the subway, so if you're too aggressive, their first instinct may very well to be to tell you to fuck off.
Be the perfect gentleman when you approach, and escalate gradually. If you do that, you'll have success in Mexico.
8. Don't be afraid to be dominant
Bottom line: if you want to attract a Mexican woman, you will need to be dominant (different than aggressive).
If you're in a relationship with a Mexican girl, she will walk all over you if you do not state what you will and won't accept. And if you don't call her out on her bullshit, she'll keep doing sketchy things and the situation will get worse. Even the nicest of nice Mexican gals will walk all the fuck over their man if he lets them.
This dominance extends to the bedroom. Don't be afraid to take control. They'll love it ;).
*Note: This is true for all women. Just in Latin America, where society isn't quite as feminized, it is even more relevant.
9. Set boundaries.
Related to point 8. If you're in a relationship with a Mexican girl, you'll need to set boundaries. Like women everywhere, Mexican women will have a bunch of dudes texting them trying to get in at any given moment. Dating in Mexico is no different than anywhere else in this sense. Make it clear you won't put up with this sort of thing. Mexican girls (again, like girls everywhere) love attention and will often be leading a few dudes on. If your girl is doing this even after you've laid down your rules, cut her loose. It's not worth the trouble.
Also, learn how to spot a gringo hunter. If she speaks really good English and has spent a semester in Europe, there's a good chance she's buried more bones than an undertaker. As a rule, you're going to want to avoid girls that only date gringos. This is easier said than done in this country. I'll write a post on how to avoid gringo hunters soon, so stay tuned!
10. Learn the Language.
Finally, if you want to know how to attract Mexican women, the single best piece of advice I can give you is to learn a bit of Spanish. Many high quality Mexican girls won't speak great English. If you take the time to learn the basics of the language, you'll open your dating market to (literally) millions of more girls.
The best program I've encountered for learning Spanish for the specific purpose of meeting women is, again, PickUp Spanish. It will teach you the precise Spanish you'll need to know in order to meet and seduce Mexican girls. If you complete the program and refer back to it over time to refresh your memory, I can assure you that your results will be much greater than if you stick to English.
How Do You Tell If A Mexican Woman Likes You?
It can be a bit difficult to tell if a Mexican woman likes you. This is largely because the interpersonal interaction aspect of their culture is largely non-confrontational. This means that, even if she is not into you, she still may respond to your texts and make tentative plans to hang out. She'll do anything but tell you straight up that she's doesn't want to see you anymore.
If you're unsure if a Mexican lady likes you, here's how you can know. Go radio-silent for awhile after you've been on a few dates. If she doesn't initiate a text within a week, there's a good chance she ain't buying what you're selling. If that's the case, it's fine. Move on. Pursue other leads. After maybe a month or so, if she still hasn't made contact, throw out a Hail Mary text to her to see if she wants to meet up again. If she does, great! You may be able to re-spark it. If she gives you an excuse about being busy or blows you off completely, delete her number. Plenty more fish in the sea. We've all been there too, so don't take it personally!
Conclusion: Dating in Mexico
And there it is! Your simple little guide for dating in Mexico how to be attract Mexican women.
I hope I've been of some assistance.
And remember: at the end of the day, girls are girls; there is no need to overthink your approach. Just get out there and talk to some!
When you're down in Mexico, have these tips running in the back of your head if you're unsure of how to proceed in a certain situation, or if you're feeling a little intimidated during your first few days here (it's normal).
If I were to sum up how to date Mexican girls in a few simple words, I would say this:
Learn some Spanish, don't be too aggressive, approach with a smile and have fun!
That's really all you need to know!
You are now ready to date Mexican girls :)
Until next time,
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