***This is a guest post from Charles DuFont of Tripoart***
First of all, I would like to thank Vance for this opportunity to share some of my nightlife wisdom with you all. He is running an awesome blog full of tons of useful travel tips, we are grateful for this, Vance!
I am Charles DuFont, I run a new website called Tripoart. I've been living and traveling around Latin America for several years. It’s a place I now call home and a place I have had many incredible experiences. I hope to enlighten a few of you readers and give you some laughs while you contemplate buying your next international ticket to Latin America, so here is my first post on My Latin Life!
Many poor, ignorant bastards who have never traveled South of the Border, have no idea of the complete and absolute insanity that can and does occur for the adventurous souls willing to take the risk and enter into the unknown nightlife of Latin America.
They have little understanding of what awaits them if they would only hop on a plane or a Greyhound bus and head to Mexico or pretty much any Latin American country, where rules and laws are like mentioning tea and crumpets.
Let’s just say, things are very casual here. Many local police regularly accept bribes; 20 dollars is usually enough to pay them off. The freedom to party to the max is one of the main attractions of Latin America, but having the common sense and wisdom to survive the endless madness is not a skill that most normal backpackers possess.
In this post, I will discuss the different nightlife options that can be experienced in LATAM. I'll also give you some tips along the way to help you get through the drunken decadence that happens every day and night in LATAM.
Enjoy, and get ready for the chaos!
The clubs in Latin America are similar to clubs anywhere else in the world. However, in LATAM, most of them don't have any functioning clocks. It’s normal to see people arriving well past midnight and partying until 6 or 9 in the morning. It seems like the more people drink and dance, the more energy their bodies generate and it becomes a non-stop party filled with ample amounts of sweat, booze and lust.
I have literally partied all night, then had breakfast and beer with new found club friends. I was so exhausted at nine o’clock in the morning, almost passing out on the breakfast table, while my friends continued to drink and ramble on mindlessly, that I had to quietly and sneakily flee, without disturbing anyone.
In Latin America, people don’t like to hear the words stop or no. I think they are actually offended by such words. They didn’t want me to leave the festivities, so I had to escape through the back door of the restaurant to avoid disappointing my Latino buddies. I finally managed to make it back to my hotel and get some much needed zzz´s, after 10am.
Before arriving to LATAM, you must be prepared both physically and psychologically for long, endless partying and new alcoholic friends that will corrupt your soul.
Music and Dancing
Most Latinos are very fond of loud, thumping music. As soon as the DJ starts playing his tunes, a mass of scantily clad women will be seen moving in very wonderfully sexual ways. Some have so much rhythm it’s like they were born dancing. They are truly in their element on the dance floor and are beautiful to watch. The Latino men dance just as well, so if you want to enjoy yourself to the max in the clubs, you need to learn how to dance.
Fortunately, there are many dance schools and willing female partners available to assist you on your mission to join the escapades and become a dancing machine!
Convenient stores in LATAM, and almost all stores for that matter, sell booze. Beer, wine, hard liquor, it’s all available, all the time in LATAM. And many stores serve a double purpose as watering holes. They are one of the cheapest places to drink and are always busy. I commonly see old dudes in their 60s drinking beer by the caseload in these type of establishments. It’s a good place to meet the locals, talk bullshit, and people watch. You never know what kind of strange character might appear in the store and buy a bag of chips or a delicious bottle of rum.
There are a lot of street hustlers in LATAM. Some of them pose as ordinary incense or candy salesman, then they size up their customers and if they think you look like a party guy, they’ll offer you the other goods. What I’m talking about is mind altering substances, like cannabis, acid, cocaine, or ecstasy. There’s all sorts of “alternative” products available in these wild, lawless lands, right on the street. I usually don’t buy things off of random street hustlers like that. I’m not a big druggie, but I have traveled with some crazy party dudes before.
Once, some friends were visiting me from Toronto, we were walking down the street in Medellin and an old Colombian dude that looked like a bum approached us, “Hey mehn, ju wan suhm cocaine??” he asked in a soft, tempting whisper. It was about 2 o’clock in the morning and my friend, being the crazy coke fiend that he is, shouts, “Hey buddy, let’s see what you got there, eh!” I said, “Man, you have no idea what he’s selling you, that could be anything, you need to be careful!” My friend says, “Of course bro, if you don’t try it, then you’ll never know if it’s good or not!”
He ended up buying a bag from the dude. We then went up to the hotel with a few friends. They said it was good shit. So, I guess you can find good shit on the street, but you definitely have to be careful. Sometimes they sell fake and worthless drugs, scamming backpackers every chance they get. You have been warned, people.
Sex Is Always Available
Sex is available, even for those who have no pickup skills. But, if you do have the skills and the money to afford dating then you won’t be disappointed. Many Latina women would love to go out on a date with a good looking White guy from Europe or North America. I’m one of these type of guys. I’ve been on hundreds of dates, with all kinds of amazing and obnoxious women.
I’ll tell you the one thing all these Latinas love. It’s not humor, or money, or charm, although these things do have their value. What they love the most is pure unadulterated adventure and adrenaline. They love a guy who is spontaneous, who will break the rules and do crazy shit like bungee jumping or surfing off the side of an active volcano, while red hot lava spews out of it.
Latina chicks love adrenaline, fast motorcycles, non-stop partying, white-water rafting, swimming with sharks, gators and anacondas, you get my point! So you better man-up before you arrive, and get ready to jump off of a mountain with a hot and horny Latina strapped to your back...while you’re hanging on and praying that your rented paragliding harness doesn’t break into pieces, as you helplessly hover over deep and treacherous canyons.
The wilder you are, the more she will love you. Adrenaline is the best known aphrodisiac in Latin America, use it to your advantage, my friends.
I live in Bogota, Colombia and I see as many sex shops here as I see convenience stores and pharmacies combined; it's freekin awesome. Sometimes, I go in a shop with my girlfriend and we pick out some sexy lingerie or a fun toy. There’s always a new product to experiment with to spice things up in the bedroom, so we like to visit as often as possible.
Latin America has a lot of brothels, so many brothels, in fact, that if you're into brothels, you won’t know where the hell to begin. Almost every small to large city will have a certain district where sex workers are available. Some offer their services 24 hours a day for those of you who prefer your various sexual perversions before lunchtime, while others open up after 8pm.
The best way to pick a good hooker is to find one that looks sweet, clean, and healthy. Always rubber up and be careful with your valuables. These ones have fingers stickier than a squirt of industrial strength epoxy, so watch out!
I´m not one to encourage drinking, drugging, partying, or having sex with complete strangers, but if you do enjoy these types of activities, then I recommend you get your culo down to LATAM pronto. You won’t be disappointed, that’s for sure.
The booze flows as freely here as the torrential rains of Latin America's wet season. Latinos like to party as much as Amazonian jungle ants like to carry around enormous leaves. The music on the dancefloor will be thumping so strongly, that your ears will still be ringing for weeks after your vacation is over.
You will live out all of your most insane fantasies in LATAM as long as your liver is strong and your pockets are deep. Your body and brain will hate you for all the terrible things you will do, but your heart and soul will be eternally grateful for the wild experiences you encounter, the insanely fun people you'll meet and the gorgeous women you'll share your bed with.
And, if you survive all the madness, you’ll be a wiser and smarter man. One who will have many amusing stories to tell his future children and grandchildren.
Happy and Safe Travels, Fellas!
When you're finished checking out all of Vance’s awesome posts, be sure to read more entertaining and stimulating posts at tripoart.com a site dedicated to art, travel, and international adventure, cheers my friends!