Hey folks, today I’d like to talk a bit about dating in Colombia.
I’m here to answer your questions, address your concerns and, as always, to entertain!
Because, here’s the thing: I’ve been misunderstood. Misinterpreted. My words have been twisted!
About once every 10 days or so, I’ll get an angry letter in broken English from a Colombian. They’ve taken offence to some of the articles I’ve written about their fellow countrywomen.
I get it.
Indeed, I’ve listed Colombia as one of the easier countries to hook-up in Latin America on a handful of occasions.
I’ve also warned foreigners about the manipulative and predatory nature of some Colombian women (operative word being ‘some’).
But, no. No room for nuance on the Internet!
Alternatively, I’ve said that Colombian women are among the sweetest, caring and gorgeous on the continent,
…but no one emails me to thank me for that!
So. What I’m going to do today, is talk about the women of Colombia in what I hope is a much more detailed, informative and, dare I say, fair manner.
And, if you’re a woman reading this, please leave a comment!
Let me know what you think, ladies.
Let’s get it rolling!
Things To Expect
It’s your first time in Colombia. You’re about to get off the plane in Medellin’s José María Córdova International Airport or Bogota’s El Dorado International Airport.
Maybe you’re nervous…or maybe you’re not because you’re a badass!
Regardless, badass or not, you’re a man, and you’re probably wondering about the women of Colombia.
Perhaps it’s not the focus of your trip, but nevertheless, you’re curious. Maybe a friend has told you about them. Maybe you’ve read some Internet articles. Or maybe you’ve seen a few episodes of Narcos on Netflix.
You go through customs, collect your bags and finally walk out those door and breathe in that mountain air.
What will it be like?
First, you should know that not every woman you see will be jaw-dropping-ly stunning. I’m sure you all know that’s not true in any country in the world, but if there’s anywhere might expect such a thing, it’s Colombia (or maybe Eastern Europe).
That said, you’ll still see A LOT.
One somewhat unique quirk about Colombia is that you’ll see beautiful women working jobs that beautiful women in Latin America don’t typically work. A model-caliber girl might sell you a SIM card, or ring through your groceries, something you’re much less likely to encounter in Peru or Mexico.
Second, if your chosen destination is Medellin, expect to see a huge number of foreigners, particularly in an around El Poblado.
What does this mean in regards to dating in Colombia?
It means things have gotten a bit harder for foreigners. For two primary reasons.
One, more competition. There is no denying that it’s easier to meet women in Colombia if you’re the only foreigner in a city.
The same effect happens everywhere in the world, for both men and women.
You’re unique, different. You’ve got that ‘exotic’ factor going on, etc.
In Medellin, that’s gone. You’ll be one of many gringos as far as the locals are concerned.
The second reason is that gringos don’t have the best reputation in Medellin, so you’ll be fighting more of an uphill battle than in other Colombian cities. This may not be apparent – locals will be kind enough not to mention it – but, with an influx of foreigners filming videos of them trying to seduce girls on the streets or in shopping malls, many foreigners only coming to the city for sex tourism or only looking for serial-style casual hook-ups, you may find some girls justifiably wary about your intentions in their beloved city.
Annnnnd reason number three: girls not showing up for dates you’ve scheduled with them, also known as “flaking.”
This is often cited by foreigners/expats in Colombia as one of the most frustrating things about dating here. If you arrange a date on one of the country’s popular dating apps such as Tinder or Colombian Cupid, it’s common that the girl will cancel at the last minute, or simply not show up to the date without telling you.
How you handle this is important, and can make or break your experience dating in Colombia.
This will be the focus of the next section.
Something Important To Remember
An important thing to remember is not to get angry or take it personally if you find girls are cancelling dates. Here, it’s common not to place that much importance on time.
And, don’t forget, if you’re meeting Colombian women online, you’re essentially a stranger to them. You may be on a vacation and have a lot of spare time on your hands, but they may have things going on.
And you’ll be toward the bottom of the priority list.
So, how to handle “flaking.”
First, don’t place too much significance on dates. If a girl doesn’t show up, don’t let it ruin the flow of your day. The best way to help with this is to invite your date along to something you were planning to do anyway. If you plan on visiting the gold museum on a Saturday afternoon, ask the girl to meet you there. If she doesn’t show up, no big deal. You were going to see that gold anyhow! Same thing goes for a bar, restaurant or café. Instead of making a plan that revolves around the date or, even worse, relying on her to plan something, invite her into your plans.
And, if a girl bails on the date, don’t take it personally. Don’t scold her with your words. Don’t react negatively in any fashion.
Simply say that’s OK, we’ll reschedule.
Girls cancel dates here. All. The. Time. It’s nothing personal. Just search on blogs or Internet travel forums and you’ll see you’re far from the only one this happens to.
It doesn’t even mean the girl isn’t interested. Try to invite her out again at a later date as if nothing happened.
Many girls will not show up for the first date, but will come out if you reschedule.
By overreacting, you could lose a lot of leads that are still actually warm.
I know it’s tempting to frame this as a self-respect thing.
But Vance! My time is valuable. I’m not going to let any girl disrespect it.
I get it. But you’d be doing yourself a disservice. Flaking here simply isn’t seen as a big deal. Your best move is to act indifferent, and give the girl another chance without judgment.
That said, if she cancels again, delete her phone number.
Ain’t no one got time for that.
Keys To Success
Here I’ll give you some basic tips to be successful.
First point: don’t take yourself too seriously! This kind of plays off the last section where I say to act nonchalant if a gal cancels. Getting angry with a Colombian girl after she does this will do no good. She won’t understand why you’re taking it so seriously (even though I personally think it’s disrespectful, this is not comprehended by them — it’s ultimately a waste of time to try to explain why your time should be respected).
And this not-taking-yourself-too-seriously thing extends to when you are on a date.
By and large, Colombians are fun-loving people.
Stoicism or introversion doesn’t seem to exist among the population!
If you’re like me and you tend toward the introverted end of things, that’s OK. But do try to be talkative, enthusiastic and animated in your discussion. You may find that Colombian girls won’t give you much in terms of conversation material. You’ll be expected to drive the conversation more (it’s likely you’re the one who invited them out, after all).
Be fun, be lighthearted. Leave topics like science, politics and the meaning of life out of it.
Second tip: Learn some Spanish!
Even if it’s just the basics, this is the highest return on investment you can give yourself as far as dating in Colombia goes. Your dating pool with open up big-time. While it’s true that if you’re in Bogota or (to a lesser extent, Medellin) you can find enough girls to meet that speak English, in the rest of the country this will prove difficult.
Know that even rudimentary conversational skills will put you ahead of many of the foreigners here.
If you’re on a time limit and you want to learn precision Spanish tailored exclusively to dating and meeting girls, there is only one program out there that will help you do that fast.
You can check that program out with this link, it’s called Pick Up Spanish.
Are Colombian Women Loyal?
Time for a bit of controversy!
Are Colombian women loyal.
Colombian girls have a sordid reputation. There are plenty of stories on the Internet of Colombianas using foreign guys just for their money, or even drugging and robbing them.
And these sorts of stories overwhelmingly seem to come out of Colombia, namely, Medellin.
That doesn’t seem to imply loyalty, or incite much confidence.
But, hear me out.
Colombia is also an extremely popular destination for sex tourism and/or “drug” tourism (basically, people looking to do cheap cocaine).
So, when you got a bunch of people doing that, of course some are going to get into so trouble and run into some not so savoury women.
It’s also the mail-order bride capital of Latin America
So that skews things.
The fact of the matter is, it’s no harder to find a loyal, responsible woman here than anywhere else in Latin America.
Even if you’re using online dating. If you sign up for a Colombian Cupid account with the intention of meeting a nice girl, make sure you do your due diligence first.
Spend some time chatting to them through the app, get an idea of what they’re like.
This is easier said than done, of course.
Hopefully the next section will help you identify some warnings signs.
Warning Signs and Red Flags
You’ve met a nice girl. Or so you think. How can you tell? What are some warning signs or red flags you should watch out for in Colombian women?
First, be wary of any kind of sob story or tales of woe. “My Mom is sick and we can’t pay for the treatment”; “can you lend me some money for ‘x’ thing.”
Same with beauty treatments. If you’ve been seeing a girl for awhile and she asks you for money to get her nails done or to go to the salon, your radar should spike a little.
Although it’s quite common for Colombian men to pay for their girlfriends’ beauty routine, this isn’t something you should be considering until you’re in a relationship with a girl. If you agree to this right off the bat, it may soon turn into requests for more money for increasingly ridiculous expenses.
Another thing. If you’re trying to get a girl out for a date and she asks if she can bring a friend, I would say don’t do it. This is a tricky one because it’s done here quite regularly with no nefarious motives. But, on a few occasions, guys have been drugged after going out to a bar with a girl and her friend.
Easier to create distractions, etc.
That’s the excessively paranoid version.
The other reason not to do this is, well, because it’s just sort of lame. You’ll more than likely be expected to pay for the girl and her friend, and it will be much harder to build rapport with the one you’re interested in with a third party in tow.
I’ve included this point because, if you spend enough time in the country, you will be confronted with a girl who requests this. Usually, it’s harmless and sometimes it’s for security reasons – the girl feels more comfortable meeting with a stranger if she has a friend along.
But, there are enough ladies here who will be just fine meeting you for a first date on their own.
Best to focus on them.
Hooking Up and Sex in Colombia
I’ll be a bit controversial again.
Hooking up and sex in Colombia comes a bit easier and faster than in other Latin American countries. And no, this isn’t to say this is a country of easy women. Nothing of that sort.
Like anywhere, there are plenty of girls here who don’t jump into the sack.
But, this country is less sexually conservative than nearby Peru or Ecuador.
If you’re offended by that comment, so be it. Most men who have been to all three countries will quickly agree with this assessment.
Use this information as you will.
Time to wrap things up.
If you’ve never been to Colombia and know nothing about it, I hope this has helped you.
And, if you have experience in Colombia, let me know if you agree or disagree with some of the things stated here. The beautiful thing about travel is everyone’s experience with the local people is unique, and a lot of insight can be gained by soaking in the context and observations of fellow travellers.
So, there you have it. My analysis on dating in Colombia. There are a lot of things I could expound on, but consider this a primer.
Hit the comment section below! Regardless of your gender. Let’s start a conversation.
Thanks for listening.
P.S. If you’re not opposed to online dating, consider Colombian Cupid. It’s one of the best dating sites for meeting Colombian women.